Making New Friends, AKA DATING

**I got inspired to write this post after watching a new show on BRAVO called, "There Goes the Motherhood."  You have to watch it-- a mom literally LOCKS her children in bed at night.  Sometimes, I just can't with people.  People are so fascinating.  Anyway.......

Before you get your panties in a bunch, let me rephrase that.  I should say that this post refers to MOMS who are making new friends.  Not making friends in general.  MOMS who are trying to make new friends- THIS is similar to dating.  Don't believe me?  Let me break it down for you.

Life is great pre-baby.  You are young, healthy, and have tons of friends.  Every weekend: 1) your girlfriends and you have a "Girls Nite" 2) you double date with friends 3) you go to the movies 4) pretty much have tons of friends that you do things with.   

Then.... you get pregnant.  You can't go out.  Your friends slowly stop calling.  Your close friends stop  by once in awhile for a few hours before they go out OR maybe you do a lunch here and there.  But your once jam packed social life is now dwindling down.  Let's face it, you can barely get out of bed now- let alone have the energy to put on a decent outfit. 

Then... you have a baby!  Life is perfect.  Baby is healthy, you are healthy.  All is gooood in the neighborhood.  You are a MOM!  How crazy is that?  You are now in charge of another human being, who happens to be the cutest thing in the world!  But yet, you crave social interaction.  You realize that you can no longer carry on an adult conversation and you find your vocabulary is nonexistent.  But where are all your friends at, the ones you had pre-baby?  What happened to their invites to everything?  Well, unfortunately- its normal.  People that don't have babies can't relate to you anymore.  They don't understand why you can't carry a normal conversation with no interruptions OR that your schedule revolves around nap times.  To no fault of theirs, your "old" friends continue life without you.  I mean, when you weren't a parent- were you jumping up and down to hang out with people that had kids?  Let alone new borne babies that cried all the time? Were you hanging out at the park with them?  Or standing in line with them to register for preschool?  (If your toddler is still too young for school, pay attention to the last sentence.  Some places have wait-lists.  Yea, I know.)  You and I both recognize, you can't get mad at your childless friends.  Priorities shift once you become a parent.  

So now that you want social interaction, you realize- it is time to make new friends with other moms.   I honestly don't think non- parents realize just how hard and time- consuming making new friends can be.  IT IS LIKE DATING in sooo many ways!!!  Why?  Because, this is the basic timeline of making new friends as a parent:

1- You find a MOM:  You join "Mommy Groups", you go to kid-friendly events, etc...  You are basically networking like a professional at every park you go to.  "Hi.  What do you do? Where do you live?  What's your sign?" Until finally, after joining countless "Mommy Groups," you meet the mom of your dreams.  She likes the same stuff you do, she is wearing the cutest leggings (aka good style), she barely brushed her hair, and she is drinking coffee!  PERFECT MATCH! 

2- Do the kids get along?  Now that you have found YOUR mom, you have to make sure the kids get along.  You hold your breath with anticipation when you introduce your kids to each other, praying that they become besties.  You really like this mom and want to show her your coffee mugs-- that are filled with wine most of the time.  See, not all kids get along.  They really don't.  Some click and are playing "Tag" instantly, while some start the "no, its mine" game right away.  But look!  Your kids are playing!  They like each other! SCORE!

3- Time for some one-on-one.  Great!!  The kids get along, now you can invite her to a playdate at your house to chat over coffee.  She comes over the next day and you guys enjoy a cup of coffee, in between yelling at the kids making a huge mess in your house.  But, oh well.  You will just clean up next week before your dinner party, anyway.  You guys realize that you like the same designers, same restaurants, and can quote the same movies!  This is a match made in heaven!  The kids are off in the corner laughing (doing Lord knows what), while you are trying to schedule in more "mom time" with your new soulmate.  But wait, now comes the ultimate test.

4- DO THE HUSBANDS GET ALONG?-   After all that time searching for YOUR perfect mom-friend, making sure the kids get along, and then realizing that you do have tons in common... now you have to make sure your husbands get along!  Arg.  (Told ya it was like dating.)   But we get along, so why do the husbands have to get along??  Because when you are married/parents, you do things as a couple.  That's just how it is.  Couples hang out with couples.  Well, most of the time.  If you are reading this and you have no idea what I am talking about-- please feel free to skip this part. So now you plan a dinner date with your new mom-friend and her husband.  "Bring the kids over, we can eat dinner (aka- drink tons of wine/beer) while the kids play (aka- make a huge mess)."  You buy your husband's favorite beer that night, because you noticed his slight eye-roll when you mentioned "new people" were coming over for dinner; gotta make sure he is nice and "relaxed" for your new friends.  They are here!  Cross your fingers.  3 hours later, SUCCESS!!  The men are outside smoking cigars and laughing!  YOU DID IT!  You now have new friends that you can actually hang out with outside of the playground.  Whew. It only took you a month, but you have found YOUR PEOPLES.

See??!? Making new friends as a parent, is totally like dating!  Just writing this- I got exhausted.  Thank God, I don't have to do this.  Luckily, for us- most of my friends have kids and my husband gets along charmingly with everyone.  If I had to go back to the "dating world"- I would for sure need lots of coffee. HAHA! 

Importance of #wafflefries. I mean #HASHTAGS#.

I know, I know.  It has been over a month (or 2) since posting a blog.  Bad, Tara.  But sometimes, inspiration for a good post just hits you out of nowhere and once you think about it- it can consume you, until you put your thoughts to paper.  So bear with me.  I may or may not have drank some "mom juice" aka coffee.  

Anyone know what a hashtag is?  Well, before social media took off- it was known as a "pound sign."  It is simply a word or sentence with the symbol # in front of it.  Hashtags are a MUST for a business owner to use on their social media platforms.  In fact, if you own a business and you are not active in at least 2 different social media platforms (I, myself, prefer Facebook and Instagram)- then you better get on it!  But using social media for business marketing and brand awareness is for another post.  This one is purely on the importance of a HASHTAG and why it is so important.

Before I continue, let me add that I am not looking up facts online and regurgitating them.  I use #hashtags for my online women's boutique that I run from my house. www.shoptiel.com (Yes, I just did that.) My kitchen, to be exact.  I started in March 2013 when we were stationed in Tacoma, WA- pregnant and with a 7-month-old newborn.  At the end of 2013, I sold almost $100,000 worth of items withOUT even having a website for the first 4 months.  Not profit ( I wish), but total sales.  I was shipping to states I had not even been to with the help of social media!   Not bad for a new mom, who never ran a business before.  For those that are wondering: 2014 and 2015 my sales were not as great because I moved back home to Maui and worked on a food truck (RIP "DA LUMPIA LADY) and other projects.  Why?  Because shipping items to Maui were astronomical and I just could not wrap my head around paying more for shipping costs than for the items themselves.  In hindsight, I should have rode the wave and bumped my price point up, and kept the boutique active.  But oh well.  You live and you learn.  (Sniff.)  But now that I am back in Vegas, it is ON.  You can follow my boutique IG @shoptiel and my FB page, "Tiel Boutique" to see all our new items.  HA!  Sorry, I can't help it.  But back to the real reason for this post.  The importance of hashtags.

We will discuss the importance of hashtags using Instagram as our social media platform example.  According to Wikipedia, "Instagram is an online mobile photo-sharing, video-sharing, and social networking service that enables its users to take pictures and videos, and share them either publicly or privately on the app..."  Did you know that when you upload an item to Instagram, you can click a few buttons and voila!  The post can automatically be added to all your other social media platforms! Instagram is my favorite for that reason.  It can be a great platform for real estate agents.  Why?  For example: If you were a real estate agent, you could post a 15 second walk through of a new property you just listed.  (Eureeka!  She's pretty smart.  You can thank me later.  LOL)  

Anyways, the easiest way to discuss #hashtags will be through pictures.  (You can also hashtag a WRITTEN post on Facebook.)  Hashtagging a post, is just a way for all pictures/videos to be grouped together.  Like a photo album, if you will.  All posts with the same hashtag will all appear on the same page.  Easy.  That's it.  You and everyone else that use the SAME hashtag will appear on the same page together.  But WHY is this good for marketing?  Because everyone that has an instagram will see YOUR post when they click on that particular hashtag.  So what should you #hashtag?   It all just depends on what the picture is, the type of audience you are attracting, and where you think potential customers are looking.  That's right. WHAT hashtag do you think potential customers are looking at, is the one you should be always using.  Say for example: You are a GMO-free candy maker?  All your posts should ALWAYS include #gmofreecandy.  Why? Because that is probably what a customer is looking up.  What your business sells, is what you should always #hashtag.  

I will upload a picture of my favorite ice cream to my personal IG account @mamataralee and walk you through the explanation.  It will make sense if you can actually SEE it, while I describe it to you.

**By the way, it is crucial to note that your social media platforms should all be PUBLIC.  Things you don't want everyone to see goes on your private account.  And yes, business and private account should always be separate.   

I posted a picture to Instagram of my favorite ice cream.  The hash tag that I used to DESCRIBE my picture was #icecream.  Pretty simple.  I could have also used #besticecreamintheworld #benandjerry #lunch #snack, anything.  Pretty much the sky is the limit on what you use on the bottom of your post.  There is NO limit on the amount of hashtags.  If it was a picture of my kids, perhaps I would use #toddlersofinstagram.   Be creative.  The more of diverse of an audience you can capture, the more clients/customers you could potentially have. 

Now when I CLICK on that #icecream hashtag this is what pops up:

MY picture on the page of every single post in the world with the #icecream hashtag.  If you look on the upper right hand corner- there are over 19 MILLION posts.  Which means the chances of your business being seen by people who have never heard of you before, are quite high.  The posts are also arranged in chronological order.  So in 10 minutes there may be another post in front of mine.  Which is why you should also be on some kind of posting schedule.  

So now do you understand why #hashtags can be very important for your business??  Say Jimmy went on a vacation in Thailand and he didn't know what to do.  Jimmy searched #thingstodointhailand via Instagram and a billion posts popped up leading him to the nearest hike or business.  Now whatever business used #thingstodoinThailand, they just gained another customer at no extra cost.

I hoped this post has helped you realize the importance of using #hashtags for your business.  If you are not using social media as a way to market your business, you really should.  It does not cost anything.  Happy #hashtagging!!!

By the way, I am working on a new project for all my restaurant owners/managers in Vegas that are reading this.  It is called "Eat Las Vegas."  I will be implementing all my social media savviness to help market restaurants and their food.  Sometimes in life, you realize what you are good at and passionate about and decide to make that your career.  I am passionate about food and am really good at marketing.  For more info, Email me at eatlasvegas@yahoo.com.