**I got inspired to write this post after watching a new show on BRAVO called, "There Goes the Motherhood." You have to watch it-- a mom literally LOCKS her children in bed at night. Sometimes, I just can't with people. People are so fascinating. Anyway.......
Life is great pre-baby. You are young, healthy, and have tons of friends. Every weekend: 1) your girlfriends and you have a "Girls Nite" 2) you double date with friends 3) you go to the movies 4) pretty much have tons of friends that you do things with.
Then.... you get pregnant. You can't go out. Your friends slowly stop calling. Your close friends stop by once in awhile for a few hours before they go out OR maybe you do a lunch here and there. But your once jam packed social life is now dwindling down. Let's face it, you can barely get out of bed now- let alone have the energy to put on a decent outfit.
Then... you have a baby! Life is perfect. Baby is healthy, you are healthy. All is gooood in the neighborhood. You are a MOM! How crazy is that? You are now in charge of another human being, who happens to be the cutest thing in the world! But yet, you crave social interaction. You realize that you can no longer carry on an adult conversation and you find your vocabulary is nonexistent. But where are all your friends at, the ones you had pre-baby? What happened to their invites to everything? Well, unfortunately- its normal. People that don't have babies can't relate to you anymore. They don't understand why you can't carry a normal conversation with no interruptions OR that your schedule revolves around nap times. To no fault of theirs, your "old" friends continue life without you. I mean, when you weren't a parent- were you jumping up and down to hang out with people that had kids? Let alone new borne babies that cried all the time? Were you hanging out at the park with them? Or standing in line with them to register for preschool? (If your toddler is still too young for school, pay attention to the last sentence. Some places have wait-lists. Yea, I know.) You and I both recognize, you can't get mad at your childless friends. Priorities shift once you become a parent.
So now that you want social interaction, you realize- it is time to make new friends with other moms. I honestly don't think non- parents realize just how hard and time- consuming making new friends can be. IT IS LIKE DATING in sooo many ways!!! Why? Because, this is the basic timeline of making new friends as a parent:
1- You find a MOM: You join "Mommy Groups", you go to kid-friendly events, etc... You are basically networking like a professional at every park you go to. "Hi. What do you do? Where do you live? What's your sign?" Until finally, after joining countless "Mommy Groups," you meet the mom of your dreams. She likes the same stuff you do, she is wearing the cutest leggings (aka good style), she barely brushed her hair, and she is drinking coffee! PERFECT MATCH!
2- Do the kids get along? Now that you have found YOUR mom, you have to make sure the kids get along. You hold your breath with anticipation when you introduce your kids to each other, praying that they become besties. You really like this mom and want to show her your coffee mugs-- that are filled with wine most of the time. See, not all kids get along. They really don't. Some click and are playing "Tag" instantly, while some start the "no, its mine" game right away. But look! Your kids are playing! They like each other! SCORE!
3- Time for some one-on-one. Great!! The kids get along, now you can invite her to a playdate at your house to chat over coffee. She comes over the next day and you guys enjoy a cup of coffee, in between yelling at the kids making a huge mess in your house. But, oh well. You will just clean up next week before your dinner party, anyway. You guys realize that you like the same designers, same restaurants, and can quote the same movies! This is a match made in heaven! The kids are off in the corner laughing (doing Lord knows what), while you are trying to schedule in more "mom time" with your new soulmate. But wait, now comes the ultimate test.
4- DO THE HUSBANDS GET ALONG?- After all that time searching for YOUR perfect mom-friend, making sure the kids get along, and then realizing that you do have tons in common... now you have to make sure your husbands get along! Arg. (Told ya it was like dating.) But we get along, so why do the husbands have to get along?? Because when you are married/parents, you do things as a couple. That's just how it is. Couples hang out with couples. Well, most of the time. If you are reading this and you have no idea what I am talking about-- please feel free to skip this part. So now you plan a dinner date with your new mom-friend and her husband. "Bring the kids over, we can eat dinner (aka- drink tons of wine/beer) while the kids play (aka- make a huge mess)." You buy your husband's favorite beer that night, because you noticed his slight eye-roll when you mentioned "new people" were coming over for dinner; gotta make sure he is nice and "relaxed" for your new friends. They are here! Cross your fingers. 3 hours later, SUCCESS!! The men are outside smoking cigars and laughing! YOU DID IT! You now have new friends that you can actually hang out with outside of the playground. Whew. It only took you a month, but you have found YOUR PEOPLES.
See??!? Making new friends as a parent, is totally like dating! Just writing this- I got exhausted. Thank God, I don't have to do this. Luckily, for us- most of my friends have kids and my husband gets along charmingly with everyone. If I had to go back to the "dating world"- I would for sure need lots of coffee. HAHA!
No comments:
Post a Comment